As Cher would say...

Anyone ever heard Cher's song "If I could turn back time"?? Every time I remember the lyrics I go back to those times when I had more than enough time to chill out and listen to music. I even remember those long nights I spent watching movies or downloading stuff on the internet. When my biggest worry was a test I could study for ten minutes before class started. During my first semester of college I barely noticed how much my life was changing and how I was no longer able to do anything just for the fun of it. So many hobbies, so many activities that were left behind until I could have some free time (aka Christmas break).

However, this second semester is when I've actually noticed how much my life has changed since August 15 until now. Never in my life I had seen myself studying for more than three hours or doing research works or caring for what I was reading because the professor was expecting the students to read and participate in class. I don't remember sparing whole weekends for hours of endless studying for a test, I don't remember ever feeling like my efforts to learn weren't enough.

I hadn't noticed that I had a strong sense of "must not be absent" while in high-school I barely cared if I made it to the next classroom.Wikipedia was no longer a reference for any work at all, reading before class was a must and analyzing stuff was a life or death deal. Studying the day before a test was a recipe for academic suicide and procrastination became a luxury that I could barely afford thinking of. (Doesn't means I didn't do it and I also payed the high price for doing so.)

I was a good student while was in high school but a lazy one and kept feeling that what was being taught to me was too easy for me to handle. Problem is that it WAS! I remember not caring much if I did or did not went to class on certain days and by the end of my senior year, cutting class was a breeze. I felt like doing all those things while in College as well but knowing that not going to a certain class meant getting lost  just terrified me.

The idea of being an "adult", the fact that excuses doesn't count anymore: when you're absent you're absent period. If your professors mess up with your grades, YOU go to their office, YOU go to the dean's office, YOU fight for it. There's no "my mother's coming" because no one will speak to her, they'll want to speak to YOU. Your parents stay home and you have to handle this new world by yourself. Too much freedom all at once is sort of toxic, in a way you feel so free of doing whatever it pleases you that if you do believe such sweet a lie you end up failing your first year of university. It's as if it was a chocolate full of venom, you'll savor it at first but then you'll regret eating it.

If I had known before, if I had had a vision of my first year or an older sibling to tell me the do's and dont's I would have done so many things during my high-school, I would've learned more, took more online courses, gone to more workshops, wrote, drew, crafted much more, learned more languages. I don't regret the high-school years I had but if would be able to go back, I'd do so much more than what I did.

Hopefully, this is your last phase

This blog, at first, was meant to be just that a blog, a space for me to literally blurt out anything. Then I had that impulsive feeling of wanting to do more and so I did, I transformed it into a bilingual blog where I would publish my works, book reviews and other's writers works, plus some of my other blog's translated works. After that it became some sort of weird-online zine that only lasted about a week or two. At last, I managed to have a "serious" looking literary blog where I only promoted my creations--Bits of my Heart was finally born.

In a way, if your follow the ups and downs in this "chronology", you could clearly notice this is the exact pattern most troubled young adults have. We go up and we go down and we do it simultaneously, all of the sudden hitting our faces with the ground and then getting up to do just the same, again and again. And probably, no one is reading this, or maybe too many people are. But I actually feel I need to lay it out whether it's just one person or a million.

After many weird, bothersome, and painful experiences online and offline the blog lost it's spirit, it sort of died. Although a week ago I realized it wasn't the blog that actually died but my own enthusiasm to keep it up. At first, what I wanted was a place to just write whatever and to share some of my likings, whether I had readers or not, it didn't mattered. Right now, I want that back.  I want a blog to just blurt out what I feel, I want my blog where I get to talk about God and my relationship with him, I want my blog-novel, that weird and risky project I got myself into and I want this blog, this diary-like place where I can post a little of everything and then some. 

If it's the ideal thing to have? Am I wasting my time with it? I don't know, I just hope this is the last changing phase of this poor space. I know I  won't stop changing, but this blog could use a stable period of time being just one thing at the time...So it'll stay at what it is now and it will no longer change.

I'm still thinking of just taking everything off but I want to give more thought to it, maybe I'll just let it be here, like a professor wisely advised.

I'm Seriously...

...considering to close/delete this blog. Although I have many reasons to do so, only one is actually making me consider this a final decision : I don't feel my heart's in it anymore...and I mean in keeping up with this blog and whatever ideas I had for it before I started feeling this way (which has been a very long time).

This is not my final decision but it's something very close to it, so this is me (as a responsible blogger) letting you now that someday before the end of this year this little space I made might or might not be here anymore. 

With love,
Angelica Perez Ortiz

One Week Only Give-Away!

Indie author, Rebbeca Weinstein is having a give-away for one week ONLY!
Read the announcement below!

Big Site Announcement! It's My Birthday but...YOU get the presents!

In celebration of my birthday on Aug. 16, I'm giving away hundreds of copies of all of my ebooks! To get yours, follow the link below and use the appropriate coupon code for each book. The coupons are good until midnight 8/16 and only on Smashwords.com. Then, make sure you check back here for an even BIGGER and BETTER announcement on my birthday next week! *This is going to be good*

REMEMBER: coupons expire on 8/16 at midnight.

Smashwords Profile:

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/rweinstein

Coupons:
DEXTER BY A NOSE    BM65T
NASHOGA                    ZS68C
SERAPHIM                   BZ23H
PATTY-O-MATTIC         VN48L

Don't forget to share this free ebook offer with your friends! Tweet, Facebook, Google+
To be followed by another, BIGGER announcement next Tuesday, 8-16-11!

Stay tuned...

[To visit Rebbeca's website and stay tuned for more supper good offers, releases or information click the next link:  http://rebeccaweinstein.webs.com/index.htm ]

Lilliantha

Title: Lilliantha

Date: May 2011

Artist: Angelica Perez

It's been a little long since I last posted a drawing blog post. I have been drawing but I can't post those drawings here because they are for a project that will be released in August. Lilliantha is the mix of two characters. First, Mariantha which is a character of a writer friend of mine, German Alcala from his story,  The Journey for Peace in Windilia and second, my just born MC, Lillian.

Mariantha is an evil queen that rules a kingdom under the sea and Lillian is a a young woman from the ninetieth centrury. How, when or why they got mixed up in the same drawing I can't tell. But Mariantha and Lillian's personality, fashion and aura is all over the same drawing. I think this is my second favorite of the year, and I probably have a "girl crush" on Lillian. Hopefully, by the end of summer I'll be publishing her story here.